Gordon Livingston is a psychiatrist by profession. He shares the insights he learned from his patients in the book. However, the insights are as relevant to patients as they are to healthy folks.
Here are some of my most loved ideas, with a Tech industry perspective:
If the map doesn’t agree with the ground, then the map is wrong
During the early years of my career, I got pretty good appraisals. However, received shitty raises. Assuaging us, our managers told us …
But then we also saw the company quarterly results in the range of 30, 000, crores !
The whole situation was confusing, to say the least. And turned me and my friends ( with similar problems ) grumpy.
Essentially the company was telling me …
You are a valuable employee, but don’t deserve a raise for being so.
The map, in our minds, was that – we are good engineers. But it did not agree with the ground reality; we were paid poorly.
I understand now, that my map was wrong 😌 😊
While we did work hard. The work wasn’t valuable to the marketplace ( and ofcourse the organization ).
Any relationship is under the control of the person, who cares the least
What happens during a strain in the employee-employer relationship ?
Essentially they tell employees “If you are motivated enough, move on. We can manage without you”.
While it is true that large organizations have a bigger pool to choose from. They face challenges nevertheless. But the simple act of “not giving a fuck”, discourages employees from being a pest. And keeps the control with company management.
At some smaller organizations, employers cannot manage without their employees. Reasons might be – expensive replacements, sharp learning curve, or customers’ liking, etc.
In this case, employees are the ones who don’t give a fuck !
Result : Employees choose their work hours, take desired leaves and better negotiate salaries.
Caring less gives more control in a relationship. ( but don’t do it out of emotions. Lest we land into a stupid situation )
Perfect is the enemy of the good
Most of us have had perfectionist bosses. One’s who will give review comments on …
To save the few bytes of space in the memory.
They make us re-write code, normalize tables, and refactor design. And don’t stop until everything is perfect. And during this time,
Idealists demand much from themselves, and others. While so, they are insufferable in many settings.
Steve Jobs used to have his employees work many days straight. Then, throw away their work without looking at it ! And have them do it over again.
We need idealists. Just not in every situation.
The most secure prisons are the ones we create for ourselves
Avinash was a fabulous techie. He was curious, hardworking, energetic, and always positive. Working with the QA team, he added much value to both our team and that of the clients’.
But only a few years into his job, he married his profile. That of a “QA team member”.
Essentially, he built a “testing team member” prison, and captured himself. And self-built prisons are very secure !
No matter how much I persuaded him to move on into development. And pick the latest tech stack. Ones that might help him grow.
I simply couldn’t succeed.
Reading the book, I understood the power of self-built prisons.
Not holier than thou. Hopefully, I will see the ones I’ve constructed !
Nobody likes to be told what to do
IT industry folks understand this pretty well. We have all had that supervisor. One who is always up to our ass with a torchlight.
The thought seems to be …
If I give up criticizing and directing those around me, chaos will ensue. Chores will not be done, dishes will pile up, rooms will not be cleaned, the house will fall down, homework will be ignored, school failure will ensue, followed by drug abuse, pregnancy, and a life of crime.
I can’t let that happen!
This is called “awfulizing”. The idea is that any relaxation in standards or vigilance is the first step towards failure. And the collapse of civilization as we know it.
This is a pessimistic view of human nature.
We are not obedient people. Most of us are the descendants of those who took dangerous voyages in pursuit of freedom and self-determination. And were willing to sacrifice a great deal in defense of these ideas.
We are genetically programmed to question authority.
Excerpt from the book
There were ideas I realized, I need to work on … Like the self-built prisoner – that is me in certain scenarios. Or the perfectionist – again that is me sometimes.
I cannot say I loved the book, but I sure did enjoy it. A good once read !