Advantages of Unhappiness
Sometimes, I tell people that there might be advantages to their depression. One of the benefits is that it is a safe position.
The same goes for chronic pessimism. It is hard to disillusion pessimists. They are already discouraged and so immune to unhappy surprises. Because their expectations are chronically low, pessimists are seldom disappointed. ( they also see themselves as realists). When I suggest to them that our expectations, good or bad, are usually met. They are skeptical since it has been so long since they have anticipated anything but the worst.
To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness.
All significant accomplishments require taking risks: the risk of failure
We live in a society that is risk-averse. Enormous time and, energy is devoted to promoting “safety” in all we do. We are taught to …
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Making Changes
It is often hard to sell unhappy people on the idea of taking the necessary changes. One that might change behaviors that play a role in their chronic discouragement.
Our feelings depend on our interpretation of what is happening to us and around us—our attitudes.
It is not so much what occurs, but how we define events and respond that determines how we feel.
Those that struggle emotionally, have lost their ability to choose behaviors. Ones that could make them happy.
Think about a person so disabled by worry that he can no longer function comfortably in the world. Every decision is measured that whether it will increase or decrease anxiety. To the degree that one’s choices become constrained by a need for anxiety avoidance, one’s life shrinks. As this happens, the anxiety gets reinforced. Soon the sufferer becomes fearful, not of anything external, but of anxiety itself. People become afraid to drive, to shop, sometimes even to leave their houses. At this point, some patients feel their choices in life have become very constricted. So they withdraw from human contact.
But – We have the ability to choose happy behaviors.
At the same time – Happiness is the ultimate risk. To be happy is to take the risk of losing that happiness.
Excerpt From: Gordon Livingston. “Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart”