The book starts by laying bare the successes and failures of the author himself. From a book consultant, strategist, one of US’ youngest talent … to many failures. To ending up in the hospital with a panic attack.
To lay bare one’s failure takes courage and humility. For this, my respect for the author grew.
Ryan explains his success blindspots. With too much storytelling. “Your talent becomes your identity and your accomplishments become your worth”. In software world –
My identity becomes …
I am an Infoscion ( employee of Infosys )
I am a Googler
I am Ex Mckinsey
My worth becomes my bank balance of …
20 lakhs or
2 crores
Since neither the company nor the bank balance stays forever, the change hits one’s identity. And it hurts !
Here are some of the ideas I loved in the book.
BE a software engineer or LOOK a software engineer
John Boyd was one of the most influential strategists in modern warfare. Yet, most of us have never heard of him.
The reason is – He WAS a strategist and did not only LOOK like one. As Boyd’ said:
One day you’re going to have to make a decision …
But you will have a club membership and you will get promoted and you will get good assignments.
OR
You may not get promoted and you may not get good assignments and you certainly will not be a favorite of your superiors. But you will not have to compromise. You will be true to your friends and to yourself.
Your work might make a difference.
Having authority is different from BEING the authority.
Having the right is different from BEING right. And
OR from today’s context.
Influencing someone is different from BEING an influencer
Mentoring is different from BEING a mentor
Impressing someone is different from BEING impressive.
To be a Software engineer or to do software engineering ? Which way you will go ?
Omnipresent
Ego is everywhere.
I have …
A few months later they were fired.
During the hard times, they had to admit ( embarrassingly ) that they did not work on ‘details’ of the idea. And this discredited them.
While ego has always been around. With Facebook, Instagram, followers, Likes, Shares … it has just become MORE.
Growing up in such an environment, our values make us dependent on validation. And are ruled by our emotions. In such an environment … every success is assumed to be rooted in talent. But, talent is only the starting point.
Your ego asks you …
Will you be able to make the most of your talent ?
OR will you be your own worst enemy ?
Talk talk talk …
What’s on your mind, Deep … says Facebook
What’s happening …. says Twitter
Start a post … says LinkedIn
Blabbering on these platforms is easy. Even sexy, by today’s standards.
What is hard ?
Talk is cheap. Real work is hard, tiring, and boring.
Pride
That’s pride.
Also, good work comes from feedback. And feedback happens when we douse our pride.
However – When my pride talks louder than the feedback’s volume, then I will NOT hear feedback.
Instead … work.
FUN FACT: Tamil Superstar Rajanikant is famous for ensuring entertainment for every demographic. Young, adults, and old.
No wonder he is a superstar.
Lower the pride. Turn up the work !
Dangers of Success
At the top of a mountain, we breathe lesser air. This is because of the environment.
Pretty much the same way, at the top of our success, we ingest lesser reality. Like – stop listening, stop learning, lose grasp on the basics. This happens because of Ego.
Handling success ( like handling failure ) takes effort.
Can you handle success ? Or will it be the worst thing that happened to you ?
What does NOT handling success looks like ?
What does handling success looks like ?
He is not in the news for the wrong reasons. Might also be the reason he joined the Indian Para commando unit as a Lt. Colonel.
He is able to handle success.
A great success. A great military mind, he was always a student.
As our island of knowledge grows, so does our shore of ignorance.
It takes a special kind of humility to grasp that you know less, even as you know and grasp more and more.
Once at the top of the mountain – Work. It is the only thing that will keep us there.
What is important ?
Double salary away from home ? or Less near family ?
Work from home flexibility ? or a grueling office schedule ?
Low-risk stable salary ? or high risk/ reward of a startup ?
It is important to sit down and think about what is truly important. Without this, success will not be pleasurable. Or nearly as complete as it could be. Worse, it won’t last !
This is especially true with money. If you don’t know how much you need, the default easily becomes : MORE.
And so without thinking, energy is diverted from a person’s calling. And towards filling a bank account. Without the important things in our lives, we won’t find happiness. It won’t matter whether you have a good job, are a millionaire, or are a billionaire.
Not to aspire or seek out of ego.
TO have success without ego.
To push through failure with strength, not ego.
I liked the book. ( should be obvious by now ).
Even more, it is like a reference for me – to keep coming back whenever I need to.
A good read.
Ego is the enemy and some added content.