Cheatcodes – forms and flavours

… Recap

Some people survive and thrive at Tech companies without doing any meaningful work. They cheat their way through. As part of this blog series, we discuss the phenomenon.

Such people use some trade-tricks. We’ll refer to these as ‘Cheat codes’.

Diving straight in …

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CheatCodes

A word or phrase, that helps a gamer get to the next level, WITHOUT playing the actual game.

All examples are real life cases. One of us was a witness to all the mentioned instances …

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Late night email

#symptomEqualsCause

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Misconception              : Long work hours == more work

Cheatcode opportunity   : Stay late. Do nothing

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The IT industry has a common misconception – that longer work hours equals better work. ( Reality is exactly the opposite. Long work hours result in burnout. Burnout in turn, stretches the work even longer )

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True story     :

I had a colleague, who did virtually nothing the whole day. Sometime after midnight he sent a mail with some updates to senior leadership.

Late night emails created the impression that the person worked above and beyond his responsibilities. #symptomEqualsCause

Truth couldn’t have been farther.

The gentleman received many accolades, appreciations and rewards. This until reality caught up, and the project ran into trouble.

At this point, the whole team was asked to carry the weight of the project. The Gentleman was working more than his fair share, and deserved team’s help. ( obviously ! )

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Late night emails were misunderstood to be a measure of good work.

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Odd work hours

#symptomEqualsCause #differentFlavour

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Misconception              : Regular odd work hours == important work

Cheatcode opportunity   : Stay late. Do nothing

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This is a nuanced flavour of the cheatcode discussed above. Also, this cheatcode is a bit difficult to understand.

How about – someone needs to stay back to finish some work today. Because he/ she stayed back late today, they will come in late tomorrow. Because they come in late tomorrow, they leave late tomorrow … The cycle continues.

From a Manager’s perspective :

Since the person overworked today, he was allowed to slack off tomorrow. Seems reasonable, but is it ?

From the Employee’s perspective :

He is able to work at ‘low supervision’ hours. Meaning he found a way to avoid supervision and probably work too. All while giving the impression of overworking !

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True Story    :

A real life cheatcoder, Ankit, figured out this equation. Once he figured out the way to avoid supervision, he ended up doing nothing.

The distances we go in love, war and laziness 😃😃

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In this case, the project ran into trouble and some colleagues were fired. Ankit got serious and started putting in quality work. The project came back to life.

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People are different – some are night owls while others are morning birds. Also when one day is tiring, then relaxing the next day is reasonable. Deliberately changing schedules to avoid supervision is Cheating.

During lax supervision, it is easy to claim the moon, all while sipping one’s coffee. #symptomEqualsCause

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Also, being late tomorrow means that – today’s work is more important than tomorrow’s. This is a false premise. Tomorrow’s work keeps accumulating. Pending work is gauged only when the delivery timelines near.

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Regardless the “overworker” is hailed as a hero owing to his sacrifices working overtime. Ankit was promoted !!

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Meeting-ophilia

#disguise #symptomEqualsCause

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Misconception              : Meetings/ discussions == productive work

Cheatcode opportunity   : Attend too many meetings to be able to deliver any “real” work

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True story     :

Our friend Sharad asked everyone he met, to schedule a meeting with him. Even when NOT required, he requested himself to be added just “to be updated”. Also, he accepted each invite he received. Ofcourse, his calendar stayed full. He was seen running between meetings.

Whenever asked about his deliverables, he showed his calendar, as a proof of his busy schedule. The busy schedule was an excuse to NOT deliver anything.

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This cheatcode is very commonly found across tech organizations. So, I will not elaborate at length. Most, if not all, techies will very easily understand this behaviour.

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As deadlines neared, a familiar story was repeated. Team came together and pulled the project through. This is fancy talk for – Others did Sharad’s work by working overtime.

Ofcourse, Sharad was thanked for all the “contribution” he made to the project !

Moving on ….

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Travelling in 20 boats

#disguise #symptomEqualsCause #differentFlavor

Misconception              : Keeping busy == producing results

Cheatcode opportunity   : Engage in multiple projects, tasks and workstreams, to be able to “show” oneself too busy to be able to produce any deliverable. Then Delegate !

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True Story    :

Techies sometimes have “cravings” to show-off their tech acumen. Rahul, one such techie, is a Director at an organization, and has these cravings regularly !

He then plunges himself into the role of a Programmer, Tech Lead, Architect and Director, all at the same time.

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Is he a genius for being able to do so much ?

Folks like Rahul, when NOT being able to deliver, choose the next best option. They call their subordinates and ask them to put in long hours. Rahul’s team bears the added burden of what he fails to do. Long hours are put in the name of teamwork ( a noble cause )

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I submit – a 20 boat traveller, gets a warm fuzzy feeling by “looking” busy rather than “being” busy. Thanks to the English language, we have phrases that help – teamwork, pull together, alliance, synergy, no I in a team etc. !!

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Sharad’s calendar was proof of his productivity. Here we have multiple work streams. Multiple tasks are a proof of someone’s productivity. Sharad was indeed seen everywhere but, he was NOT responsible for any value addition anywhere ( he was busy ! ).

The value addition was delegated to his subordinates ( fancy talk for asking others to do his work )

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The idea of being busy equaling productivity SELLS well. Unfortunately management that buys into this idea, fails their team.

Postmanship

#symptomEqualsCause #managementEqualsDelegation

Misconception              : generating lot of email == productive work

Cheatcode opportunity   : Isn’t it obvious 😀

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Another misconception is – “generating lots of communication” is keeping busy. To the cheatcoder this is another leverage.

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True Story     :

A manager Arpan, was asked to streamline some work within a certain timeframe. He generated a LOT of intelligent sounding, good grammar emails. But he did not complete his work within the time period.

Next day – He was fired !

The Vice President of the organization told me, and I quote “He generated a lot of emails and did no work, and I know the difference” 😀

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Score : VP 1, Manager 0

I give the honorary title of “Postman” to such folks !

Postmanship : The performance by a member of the team, of simply passing work from one person to the other. This WITHOUT adding any value whatsoever.

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The person is highly paid as for being a postman. You might quickly realize this. On one hand he wastes the company’s cash, on the other he spoils his own career opportunities.

But, you will NOT realize what happens next:

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Paraphrasing from a meeting to explain:

Manager : Mr. Engineer, please share the designs with me.

Engineer : Done.

Manager : ( without checking, forwards the design to the architect ): Mr. Architect, please approve.

Architect : Done.

Manager : ( to the engineer ) FYI & FYA ( For Your Information & For Your Action ). Let me know once this is done.

Note – If the designs had issues – its the engineer’s fault or architect’s fault, but never the manager’s.

Manager was just a Postman; therefore safe !!

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Postmanship, ends up shaking the idea of “meritocracy” in an organization or team. This is also what all cheatcodes do.

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Panic ! leveraged

#misusePeopleSkills

Phenomenon              : Humans do silly things during panic/ stressful situations.

Cheatcode opportunity   : Create panic and leverage.

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True Story     :

I had this conversation some years back:

Co-worker : DUDE …. ENGINE IS NOT RUNNING !

Me : Hmm, what happened

Co-worker : I HAVE ESCALATED TO THE DIRECTOR, I HAVE ESCALATED TO THE VP !

WE WILL MISS OUR TIMELINES !

I WILL CALL THE DELIVERY MANAGER

Me : So … what happened.

Co-worker : DEEP !

YOU HAVE TO LEAVE EVERYTHING ELSE AND DO THIS … ELSE ( the world will end or something on the lines )

Translation :

I am unable to do my work. Please help.

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Person asking for help knows that “panic” is a leverage. He will use the leverage, to help him get the work done.

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I clearly knew that panic was the tool to ask for help, instead of a simple “please help figure this out”. I as a Lead in the organization knew/ understood this. But many other leads, middle and higher management aren’t always able to.

The first thing a Manager sees during a panic situation is .. the Fleeting bonus checks; as if “Red bull gave it wings” 💸💸💸 . This vision of the flying away check allows cheatcoders to take advantage of folks.

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So, Panic/ Stress and Confusion are on the Menu tonight !

I had a peer who did nothing during the actual timeline of the project. He worked on creating false impressions of work, using tricks we already discussed.

Once the project was at risk, he asked for help and rallied the team in the name of “team work”. He consistently convinced senior management to get “team’s ” participation. This was very strange to me.

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Note that he leveraged fear to his benefit. Higher management was afraid of not being able to deliver to the client. He was able to get away without any real contribution for a long time. After some 5 years, management really “saw” what was going on. He was moved out of the team.

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Why does this phenomenon exist ?

My opinion is – During panic/ stress/ confusion or any such situation … The first thing people lose is their head (mind) !

Not having a calm, composed self, most are unable to think straight and put 2 and 2 together.

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Furthermore the smart cheaters present themselves as the calm solution, which is something management needs during trouble.

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Obscurity by language

#deceive #wordsOverWork

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Misconception              : Technology is complex

Cheatcode opportunity   : Write long/ complex emails to hide the real details

Language is a powerful tool. It is more powerful than most understand it to be. Combine that with expertise in a subject. Results are words like:

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What if I told you ..

“Hey, that was iatrogenic” Vs

“Hey, that was the doctor’s fault”

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Feel the difference ? Notice – the intrinsic purpose of these words is to hide the real meaning.

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Obscure language can be used to – hide one’s mistakes, taking credit away, blaming and more … It is more common than you might think.

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Let us use the same concept for the IT industry. What if I purposely write the following lines to explain an issue:

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True(ish) Mail     :

The online team sent a request to the middleware team, it was subsequently load balanced and analyzed. We had a meeting with DevOps to understand whether the servers were set up correctly. Next step was to research the request on the server and there we found some logs that are still being analyzed. The final outcome might be related to application server engagement with the DB.

What do you think the issue was ?

How about : Db locks.

OR

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We have been working on the issue with x-commit teams since the day and have found that UI performance did not have any issues. Instead the issue could be with any of the possible backend solutions. Seems to us that UI is not working due to sync issues. We have been working in a war-room to investigate these solutions with tools like JMeter, Debug, Jconsole and heap monitoring tools. We will send out hourly updates and you can give me a call in case anything urgent is needed.

Were you able to find the actual cause ? Let’s see.

Above translates to : Sync not working

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How about taking credit away and blaming ?

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Obscurity by language is easy and yet very effective. It is one of the favourite tools for cheatcode – rookies to pros. No wonder.

Having relished this cheat flavour, let’s move on in our quest to find another one !

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Analysis Blackhole

#hide

Misconception              : New technologies take time

Cheatcode opportunity   : Take my sweet time for something very quick

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Today’s technologies are designed to be used with ease. Any technology that has a high learning trajectory, loses to its competitors.

The word “long” is subjective. Sometimes the domain/ integrations/ use-cases are complex. But techies too can hide their real effort, be plain old lazy and misuse their timelines.

Analysis blackhole is a common phenomenon. This can be done by overestimation or underreporting.

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Overestimation is done, knowing that the work instead might be done in a tenth of the estimated time. Underreporting is done by showcasing less work than is actually achieved. An easy task.

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Dereliction

#desertion #misusePeopleSkills

Phenomenon              : Humans are emotional beings

Cheatcode opportunity   : Misuse human emotions to one’s advantage

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I observed a strange phenomenon. Some of my friends tended to have “personal” issues ONLY around the time something difficult came up.

The issues ranged from – poor internet connection, travelling to native town, family emergency or some sudden illness. Don’t get me wrong, some folks might need a breather, but

Once – possibly a situation

Twice – maybe a misfortune

Thrice – makes the believers doubt !!!

True story     :

Release and deployments were really tricky, time taking and tiring, for one of our projects. Releases used to take their toll on us developers.

One of our cheatcode colleagues was drop dead gorgeous ! She was also someone everyone knew to be an idiot ( of course a beautiful idiot ).

She had consistent troubles during times of releases. This was strange ! Urgent personal work, family member sick, she is sick … the situations became so common that we started guessing the upcoming trouble for the next releases.

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Jokes aside, I wish her well. And I hope she gets the sense to stop the silliness. Do you know someone similar ?

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Conclusion

With this we come to the end of cheatcodes.

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We talked about cheatcodes in some of its flavors and forms. This was not a comprehensive list; only ones I gathered from my experiences. As much as they work, my recommendation will be to NOT use them.

Why ?

Karma, it catches up with you !

If I use cheatcodes, sooner or later, I will fall and fall bad. In the end it might not be worth it !

While laziness can happen in any industry, why are Tech industry cheatcodes so prevalent ? The Tech Industry seems to provide fertile grounds for cheatcoders to not only survive, but also thrive. But why ??

That is the topic we’ll discuss in the next blog…

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Until then … long live honesty !